song for a scribbled out name
by Antigone2
Summary: his name is all she has to hold up between the man she remembers and the one he's become. it will be a long time before the name Endymion stops tasting bitter on her tongue (Dark Kingdom arc, evil!Endymion)


He insisted on being addressed as Endymion.

And so she refused to.

"You are _Mamoru_ ," she'd say, the name first like a plea, becoming a mantra, a protective charm. She'd repeat it, watch his eyes darken with anger, the lines in his face edge with danger and _she'd keep saying it._

His name.

"You are mistaken, little girl," he'd hissed, the first time. "I am Prince Endymion, of the Dark Kingdom."

"Your name is Mamoru Chiba," Sailor Moon shot back, "and the Dark Kingdom is no place for you!"

His fingers tensed and in a moment she found herself facing down the business end of a razor sharp black rose. Sailor Moon couldn't help but flinch, turning her face away and bracing for an impact that never came.

"You dare to tell _me_ my place," he'd said, voice seething with anger.

"Did I touch a nerve, Mamoru?" she murmured, not opening her eyes, still braced. Let him send that rose flying. Let him dare.

She sensed him leave about the same time she heard her senshi come running.

* * *

They hit the ground with such force that Sailor Moon's head spun. She shut her eyes against the explosion that shattered a hole into the wall where she'd just been standing a moment ago.

Tuxedo Kamen rolled off her, and darted his eyes around on high alert. "That was foolish of Kunzite," he muttered. "Queen Beryl would not like it if harm were to come to me."

Sailor Moon groaned a little, working her way up to her elbows. Well, that would most certainly bruise.

"She'd be pretty pleased if harm came to _me,_ though," she said. "Which I believe was Kunzite's objective."

He scowled. "He wants to take the glory away from me," he turned to look at her and the eyes behind the mask were ice cold. "He won't."

"Mamoru," she said, reaching for his arm.

"Endymion," he corrected, sharply. " _Prince_ Endymion."

She sighed through chapped lips. She wondered if she'd ever stop hating that name.

"You're _Mamoru_ ," she insisted. She managed to pull him slightly toward her. Her other hand fumbled for the moon stick, the ginzuishou. Noticing her movement, he grabbed that hand so tight it hurt her.

"Stop," he warned, his voice dark.

Sailor Moon exhaled through her teeth. "You _saved_ me."

"Don't read too much into it," he said. She cringed at his tone. It was his voice, the same voice that laughed at her test scores, that called her 'odango atama'. The same voice (how blind she was not to see) that calmed her the first time she'd ever fought as Sailor Moon. But, oh, it was different now. Cold. Detached. Evil.

She knew to be wary, she knew to be on guard, that this man was _dangerous_. She also knew that she owed it to the good man she knew as Mamoru Chiba not to _let him hurt her._

"But we used to fight together," she begged, "Please remember. You were on our side, Mamoru, even though you thought you weren't. You belong with us. We trust y-" she gasped as he twisted her arm so hard it brought tears to her eyes.

Leaning forward, he put his lips to her ear, bit out the words, "Don't trust me." The intensity in his voice made her breath catch.

"Ma-"

But he was gone, so suddenly that Sailor Moon had to get her bearings again. She ran her hand over the bruise on her arm, shutting her eyes against her tears. Maybe eventually they'd get him back. Maybe they could save him. Until then, Usagi wondered how much more her heart could possibly break.

* * *

When it wasn't Endymion, it was Kunzite, standing in the sky laughing with cold eyes and a colder smile.

"Don't tell me I've found you all alone, Sailor Moon," his voice was smug. "Where are your loyal sentry?" His smirk said he already knew.

Usagi realized he'd set up the secondary attack her senshi were currently dealing with as a distraction and hoped her face didn't give away her panic. Kunzite's grin widened and she knew he saw right through her.

"Now," he said, slowly floating down toward the ground, opening one gloved hand to her. "The crystal?"

"Over my dead body," she snarled.

His laughter was like bones cracking. "Exactly my plan, Sailor Moon."

But she had already started running.

She ran until her lungs were burning, her legs shaking, and still she could swear she heard his laughter beneath the sound of her gasping for air. Sailor Moon desperately darted into an empty loading dock by the river, realizing too late that if her hiding place failed she'd have nowhere to run.

Suddenly a hand wrapped around her upper arm so tightly she would have screamed, if another hadn't slammed over mouth. Her eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark yet, but she knew his scent, even his breathing. This was Mamoru - Tuxedo Kamen - (she refused to even _think_ of him by any other name, the hell if she'd give Beryl the satisfaction of taking that from her).

He had her back pinned against him, his mouth at her ear. "Don't move, he's still out there."

Usagi wondered briefly if she'd be better to fight him off and go take her chances out there with Kunzite. She'd decided long ago that she'd rather let Kunzite kill her than let Mamoru become a murderer.

Still, ideally, she'd like to not be killed _at all.  
_

Not sure if she was committed to either fight _or_ flight at this point, hating the small, delusional part of herself that enjoyed being so close to him again, Usagi only halfhearted struggled against him. She heard his breath catch and hiss through his teeth and fought an ironic flare of triumph. So maybe he was enjoying it more than he should, too.

At least she tried to shake his hand off her mouth, and when he just tightened his grip she opened her mouth and made to bite him. Guessing her intentions, he removed his hand with a 'tsk tsk'. "I'm only trying to help you, Sailor Moon."

She whirled on him, seeing outlines begin to appear as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. "I thought I wasn't to trust you, Mamoru."

"Endymion _,"_ He said. "And you can trust me on this: I will not allow Kunzite to get the crystal. I _will_ be the one presenting it my Queen."

"Will you," Usagi forced through clenched teeth. Now free from his grasp, she reached her hands back, looking for an escape route and only finding a wall behind her. He'd made sure to position himself between her and the exit. _Oh, good,_ Usagi thought sarcastically. _So glad Mamoru kept his logistical skills. Dammit._

"But I'd prefer it wasn't so... messy," he continued. "Kunzite wants you dead, crystal or no. I'm more willing to compromise."

"I'm touched," she said, opening her palms against the wall. Maybe she could push against it and tackle him to the ground and run. _It's not like he's a foot taller than you and a good fifty pounds heavier or anything_ , she thought to herself. _Great plan, Usagi._ "Mamoru." She threw his name at the end of her statement out of habit, out of desperation, she wasn't sure.

But somehow this was the time it undid him. She found herself pinned against the wall, her wrists in his hands, her arms pulled up above her head.

 _Shit._

"Endymion," he snarled at her. Her eyes now fully adjusted, she could see the rage on his face, wondered if she was imagining the turmoil in his eyes.

"You are Chiba Mamoru," Sailor Moon said, keeping her voice as light as she could. As if being pressed against a concrete wall in an abandoned loading dock arguing with her true-love-turned-evil-enemy was an everyday occurrence unworthy of all but the most conversational of tones.

His eyes lowered slightly, tracing a lazy line up from where their bodies were pressed together to her lifted chin, the challenge on her face that wavered just slightly under his gaze.

"Stop saying that," he demanded, leaning forward so his lips were almost against hers. His thumbs traced a circles motion on her wrists.

 _This is dangerous._

"No, I won't. It's your name," she murmured, moistening her lips despite herself.

His breathing was irregular, she noticed, his gaze distracted. Usagi felt the tension, pulled taunt between them. What would the consequences be if she tempted fate now?

 _So dangerous._

There was an intake of breath, and he was so close his hair brushed against her forehead. Without thinking, she opened her mouth slightly, let her upper lip brush against his. His lips moved to catch hers but she pulled away just enough so he closed them again, pressed his mouth into a line.

"Your name," she tried again, "is-" but he cursed under his breath and pressed his lips to hers, hot and demanding, before she could finish. He didn't give her a moment to adjust, although she found herself responding without even thinking, yielding when his mouth pressured hers to open. He groaned and curled his fingers through hers where he held her arms up. Usagi guessed he must have enough presence of mind to know better than to release her hands, so instead he leaned into her, sliding his body along hers and pressing her more tightly against the wall.

"Sailor Moon," he said, his voice tight.

"Am I not to read too much into this as well, Mamoru?" she managed to say, as soon as her lips were free to speak. She waited for the strength to return to her legs, for her heart rate to steady.

In response his grip on her wrists tightened slightly but he didn't move, and he didn't answer right away. "Tell me, Sailor Moon," he said, "you are so insistent on names," he ran his mouth along her neck, smirking a little at the goosebumps Usagi knew where rising on her skin in response. "Why don't you tell me yours?" He kissed her neck, either with cold calculation or because he couldn't help himself. Usagi wasn't sure which worried her more. "What do they call you, little sailor girl, when you aren't punishing people in the name of the moon?"

 _Does he think I'm an idiot?_ For a moment annoyance cooled her attraction and she was able to think clearly. _Like I'm just going to tell him my name? How about my address and school schedule while I'm at it?_ "Serenity," she supplied, figuring it wasn't as much of a lie as it could be. "My name is Serenity." The name Serenity did, after all, belong to her as much as anything. Just as the name Endymion had, once.

There was a beat, and for a moment she wondered if she was imagining the spark of recognition in his eyes. _But that couldn't be,_ she thought. His own name meant nothing to him, the name of a ghost from another life should mean even less.

"Serenity," he repeated, almost thoughtfully. "It means inner peace, tranquility."

"I suppose," she said.

"It doesn't fit you," his voice was back to being velvety smooth, his smile back to mocking. He had leaned back slightly, letting a sliver of space open up between their bodies. It was all the leverage Sailor Moon needed to pull back and put all her strength into slamming her knee between his legs as hard she possibly could.

"No," she agreed, as he cried out in pain and she pushed his arms away and stumbled over him, "it doesn't."

She full-tilt ran for daylight, and when she emerged, blinking and disoriented, Kunzite was gone and her senshi were standing on the riverbank to meet her.

* * *

It was after a battle, at night, Sailor Moon was making her exhausted way home with Luna when they realized they were being followed. Usagi stopped in her tracks and turned to face him while Luna vanished on silent paws.

"I'm not going to let you kill me," she said, into the darkness.

"I told you," he said, stepping out from the shadows. "I am willing to compromise."

"I thought you learned last time, Mamoru," she said. "I'm not."

"So we are at an impasse," he stepped closer and she raised her chin in challenge. His eyes behind the mask darkened slightly at the gesture, something pulled at the corner of his lips. "Serenity."

She blinked in shock at the use of the name, even as the running footsteps and shouts of her friends made it clear Luna had alerted the others to her situation.

When she turned around again he was gone. But something in the way he'd said the name made her feeling something she hadn't in a long time: hope.

* * *

this is a one-shot. just something for a tumblr friend who likes Dark!Endymion/Sailor Moon fics and I can't do anything like some of others out there but this is my offering. Let me know what you think if you so chose! but don't ask me to continue it because this really is just a one shot. :)


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